Sorry about your cherries and raspberries. Thanks for planting your fig trees close to the fence though, brb. If you created roads that went straight from one point to another then I wouldn't have to blaze my own shortcuts right through your backyards, crops, and vineyards. But I get it that your baby grapes are prettier and more culturally and economically relevant than quick transport. I find it very considerate that you provide little stone pathways and steps and drinking fountains that connect all the vineyards to surrounding roads. So inviting, almost like you want me to come chill on Sundays, when I know you are not allowed to work and therefore will not stumble upon me while I am sunbathing. So it's like a timeshare, yeah?
Maybe if we can agree on this, I will stop gawking at your garden clusters/picnic huts. I mean to be fair, the first time, it was because I had never heard of supplementary allottments for flats. I thought maybe there really were poor folk in Switzerland? But listen, whether or not I stop to rubberneck, that isn't a backyard. You are all next to the highway for god's sake. And your bros' allotments are next to the main railroad. Double decker style peering out at you. It is almost like you all have your own garden party shows. You're all together and facing each other, with everyone else's fruit and flowers brushing against your butt when you sit on the benches, so it's like a competition, too,no? With mobile spectators? Maybe everyone driving by on the motorways and riding by in trains could somehow vote quickly as they pass? But I digress. Despite the shortcomings of your wimpy land plots, next Sunday when I'm on the way to your neighbors' vineyards, I promise not to look. I promise not to lean over the highway railings (there's a sidewalk along the highway yeah mom.) trying to peer into your windows to see if you have beds in those huts. And if I'm on the train, I'll pull down my shade when I pass. And if I am on the train I might have a ticket to be there, too. Maybe I'll even stay in second class but probably not because I know I look innocent and I can just speak English and say I've never been on a train like this before and I thought this was second class. Oh also sorry for always propping my feet up on the seat across from me but I don't think I'll be able to stop doing that. Conductors, don't you feel like grandma when you ask me to put my feet down? Your train may be Swiss and efficient and yours. But it isn't a parlor, and my feet are small. Alright? Yeah I also don't feel bad for that or the time that the Swiss Dolce and Gabbana sunglasses tennis shoes Versace white capris couple was aggressively making out, and I pointed it out to Anais, and then she shouted "They're kissing themselves!" and tugged on euroboy's arm. And I don't really feel bad for letting her hang out the train windows because I love when she yells "I'm not afraid of anything" into your faces. Or maybe into your allotments. And I cannot sincerely apologize for loving when she said fuck it. It was precious. Yes precious she's a porcelain angel with spunk
