Found on a walk

A box of free books, among them Kurt Cobain's Journals.
On page 27 there was an awesome story and luckily another blogger has typed them all out.
Thanks, @http://cobainjournals.blogspot.com/. And @Google for making this connection possible.



In a last attempt to make it clear that this girl did not have downs syndrome or a mongoloid, there is proof that Lakeside High School does not have or ever has had the facilities to teach those chronic retards. In fact, Darrin, Ace, and Trevor were also in one of her classes & she also had regular classes for normal people. A lot of naive asshole kids just called her retarded because she never talked.

The object of the guys who had been going there for the past month was to steal booze from the downstairs basement den while others distracked her by opening cupboard doors & pretending to eat all the food, one would go down & take a 5th & then exit out the downstairs.
It was basically a gift to Trevor the pot overlord who enjoyed pot not as quite as much as booze, and to his helpers & I a reward of getting high in the woods near the school was always promised if we stold booze for him. Only being stoned within that week for the first few times was what i claimed as "something i will do for the rest of my life!" And i would practically do anything to ensure my supply of the fantastic weed. So we did this routine every other day & got away with it for about a month.
And during that month happened to be the epitome of my mental abuse from my mother. It turned out that pot didn't help me escape my troubles too well anymore and i was actually enjoying doing rebellious things like stealing this booze & busting store windows, getting in fist fights, etc..... & nothing even mattered. I decided within the next month I'll not sit on my roof and think about jumping but i'll actually kill myself and i wasn't going out of this world without actually knowing what it is like to get laid.
So one day after school I went to her house alone and invited myself in and she offered me some twinkies and I sat on her lap and said "let's fuck" and I touched her tits and she went into her bedroom and got undressed in front of me with the door open and I watched & realized that it was actually happening so I tried to fuck her but didn't know how and asked her if she had ever done this before and she said alot of times mainly with her cousin.
I got grossed out heavily with how her vagina smelled & her sweat reaked so I left. My conscience grew to where i couldn't go to school for a week and when i went back i got in-house suspetion in the office for skipping, and that day the girls father came in screaming & accusing someone of taking advantage of his daughter & they went in the principals office and yelled at eachother & they came out with a yearbook & were going to have her pick me out. but she couldn't because i didn't show up for pictures that year. & so during lunch the rumors started and by the next day she told my name and everyone was waiting for me to yell & curse & spit at me calling me a retard fucker.
Because a lot of people liked me the sides were even but i couldn't handle the ridicule so on a saturday night i got high & drunk & walked down to the train tracks & layed down & waited for the 11:00 train & i put 2 big pieces of cement on my chest & legs & the train came closer & closer, and it went on the next track beside me instead of over me. So i rode the bus to Lakeside School from Jenkins Lane everyday pretending to go to school & doing acid instead walking in the woods so my mom would think i was going to school & the cops stopped me one night at a football game & i went down to the station & they tape recorded my confession of what i did and said that her family can't do anything because she was 18 and not mentally retarded. But tension from school made me have to attend Jenkins School and the train scared me enough to try to rehabilitate myself & my guitar playing seemed to be improving so i became less manically depressed but still never had any friends because i hated everyone for they were so phony.