oh my goodness

I hope other people think these things are remotely funny:

Washington D.C.
Chinatown- I go into a restaurant for lunch and ask for a menu. Thirty seconds later, a woman sets one on my table, pats it sort of lovingly, and says "yes"
Metro Center, Wachovia- A woman asks what she has to do to get a lollipop. Nothing? Seriously? Well can I have a green one? I would really like a green one? She stands there at the window and opens it and starts to lick on it although her transaction is already finished. Man this is so good. I would really love another one. Yeah, another would be so nice, but I'm not gonna push my luck. For free, damn. What a good lollipop. BIGGEST N00B EVERYONE KNOWS ABOUT THAT

Above the Atlantic Ocean, trapped- a man gets up to go to the restroom and I cannot help but notice his gaelic long sleeved floor length robe tied with a rope. I notice not so much because of his costume as because he is seven feet tall, promise.

London- shuttle bus between airport gates is Mercedes Benz. ballin

Why do I feel like the way I am dressed is so dorky?
Also now I am a member of the ACLU.
I can't wait to sleep.